I'm a big person-- fat, if you want to be blunt. In all fairness, I have lost quite a bit of weight since I've last gone speed dating. I'm still big, but there's more definition than fat now, and my co-workers and fellow gym goers have commented on the weight loss. I'll probably be coming to the event straight from work, so I'll be wearing a nice blouse, black dress pants, and nice shoes.
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If the weather were nicer I'd be wearing a skirt, but I can't do tights and knowing the weather here, we might just be in the middle of another polar vortex anyway. I have a pixie cut. I think you need to reconsider this. Even if "a lot of what you do is confidential," such as working for a public defenders office or working for an agency that administers state benefits, you CAN usually tell people about the nature of what you do.
Do you have a security clearance? I urge you to reconsider this because I think you may be coming off a bit weirdly. People for better or worse find it easier to connect with others who talk about their occupations. People are fascinated by work and jobs. And I think -- for better or worse -- that larger women are going to be at a disadvantage at speed dating events which are geared to highly superficial judgments. So, to succeed, you need to really shine in conversation and by parrying the most natural of questions "what do you do? Re tights, I just picked up a pair of amazingly cozy tights--fleece inside--made by Hot Sox.
It seems like they'd work well even in chilly weather. Re work, I'd probably say 'I work in x agency or in y department at x agency,' say something general about why you like it, and if they ask for more details, say you work with x and y officials doing office work. It seems like worrying about giving the 'best first impression ever' might be a little counterproductive and stressful Or try physically acting like you think a confident person would, which can help your brain go along with the idea and relax And if you don't know what that means, then spend some time exploring it.
Speed dating isn't about convincing them to like you; just be yourself and see what clicks. Don't worry about knowing any facts about them. Don't ask them what they do personally I find that rude and narrow minded, since we are all so much more than what we do.
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Concentrate on getting a feel for the person. Trust me in a 10min conversation, this is all you will really learn about the person, and it is the most important. Did they put you at ease, did they feel warm and friendly, relaxed etc. So instead of focusing on yourself, focus on making them feel as comfortable as possible.
Not weekends, pick like a Tuesday or a Wednesday. Because people with active social lives are too busy Thursday-Sunday. Be very picky about where in the city you will attend the event - you want close to downtown or wherever 'the scene' is in your city. I've found that these two things are the biggest factor in having interesting people come out. The rest, as they say, is just luck. Me, I've done SD a number of times.
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Only once was it fruitful - I met someone who later became an awesome friend, who then introduced me to more people that have also ended up being great friends. But not once has it ended in a relationship. Not even a piddly one-month relationship. So get your hopes way way down. This will also help your nervousness. It's just a chance to have some after work drinks and chat.
The job question is tricky, and it seems like the easiest way around it is to deflect, which you can do precisely by pointing out that so much of what you do is confidential-- just say something like "I work for the state. And a surprising amount of what I do is stuff that I'm can't legally talk about.
You can even use this as an excuse to ask them about something other than their jobs-- it's only fair, since you can't talk about yours. And their jobs are hopefully not the most interesting thing about them, anyway. If you wear earrings, can you swop them out after work and before the event, changing into some that don't look too office-y? With short hair, earrings can make a big difference in how an outfit works, but it's a very easy change.
I was reading over my husband's shoulder and couldn't resist. I started having better dates and met my husband when I made my number one goal to have fun on every single date. I asked myself, "What would be a fun date for ME? On a date, what would a fun response be to the question "What do you do? For example, "I work at at the state department, where I get to meet new people every day and my building is next to a bakery that makes THE best kolaches in all of Chicago. I have one every day before I go to work. Remember, dating should be fun and not the miserable and terrified "Do I measure up" dance everyone makes it into.
If you are having fun then no matter what happens the date was not a waste of time. I only met my husband when I quit accepting guys who were more into fear than fun. BE that girl, the one who is an admin and also is kind, a hero to her friends and neighbors, sparkles with energy and looks at the world with a "why not?
And you might already be that girl - I am just telling you what worked for me. It sounds crazy, but I met my husband 2 weeks after I decided to just relax and have fun on dates and only date people who were fun people to me. Ok, I humbly apologize for going on, and if I have come across as a "smug married" I am even more sorry. I will try again to communicate better next time. But, good luck ; posted by Rabarberofficer at 7: You want to redirect the conversation so you can highlight other things that are interesting about you, not talking so much about work.
Mention at least one thing that you like to do which could conceivably be done on a date with someone else. Come up with something positive to say about the work you do. Sort of a sound bite. Also, unless you are barred from saying what agency you work for and your general work hours and schedule, say something about that. That you can't discuss a lot of your work due to confidentiality should not even be coming up on a speed date, that's more detail than you need to go into over that length of time. A few sentences about work at the most, then segue into what you do when you aren't working.
If you want the best results, plan ahead and wear your most flattering work outfit, or even change into a more date like top in the restroom on your way out of work. Put your coat on over that if you don't want to show off the change in outfit at work. Figure out what your most flattering features are and show them off. For many big women, a properly fitted bra and a slightly low cut top will get you there.
You might want to wear a different bra as well if you are changing your blouse.
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Once you are there, relax and have fun. Best of luck to you! It might actually help for you to worry more about whether you like the guy you're talking to. Not only is that important, but it's a better mindset generally for seeming confident and not seeming insecure. You also need to discuss work comfortably.
You don't need the best job, but you can't grimace and act uncomfortable. You work for agency and can't discuss much of what you do. You're a secretary and it gives you a lot of free time to read. You're reminded of Office Space and hey how about that new art exhibit. I don't think the answer really matters, but how you say it does.
FWIW, I think you're probably at the biggest disadvantage in speed dating compared to other kinds of trying to date. The format invites snap judgments. If you're not conventionally attractive, that doesn't help. If you're someone who grows on people over time and doesn't make a great first impression, that doesn't help. You need to work on these things as best you can. I completely agree with J. I went speed dating once in my life, just for fun, and although I consider myself open minded and non-judgemental, I found myself making snap decisions about everyone within 30 seconds of meeting them.
Fat Cat Cafe Bar in Nottingham. Speed Dating in Nottingham How Speed Dating in Nottingham works When you arrive at the speed dating venue for Speed Dating in Nottingham, you will be greeted by our friendly professional hosts. They will settle you in by briefly explaining the format of the evening and confirm how many people you will be dating at the Speed Dating in Nottingham.
What happens at a Speed Dating in Nottingham event At a Speed Dating in Nottingham event, you will have four minutes to chat to each date. Four minutes is long enough to see if you click with the person you are talking to and whether you would like to see them again. At the end of each date you have a brief few moments to make some notes on the person you have just dated at the Nottingham Speed Dating event.
Speed dating guarantee Luckily, since you will be meeting many amazing other singles at our Speed Dating in Nottingham event, you can tick as many as you like. Speed Dating in Nottingham. The event information above has been added by the organiser.